Thursday, July 1, 2010

The First Look...

There are times in life when a first look could be deceiving, there are times in life when a first look can be scary and there are times in life when all you need is one first look...a tiny glance... to fall in love. I think that is what happens when we become parents. At first we are slightly scared but then we fall head over heels. Personally I was soooooo scared. I had so many doubts. So many questions in my head. Will I be a good mother? Can I be a good mother?
Am I capable of being a good mother? Am I ready to be a mommy? Will I be able to deliver?
Will it hurt? Will I be so hormonal that my husband will hate me? Will the baby love me? Will the baby be healthy?... And about a million other questions that simply popped up to my head on a daily basis. Sometimes I had so many questions that I thought I was being negative but I honestly believe that in life it's much better when we ask ourselves all the questions. Not that we will find answers to each question but at least we are faced with the possibilities.

When it comes to all those baby questions... every mommy is different and every daddy is different so you simply have to relax and enjoy the amazing ride. Most of the answers to your questions will come to you... For me... I read about a million baby books and still had questions. I think I was a bit paranoid because it was my first baby and I really didn't know what to expect.
I had a lot of friends who had children but I had never thought about having them myself. I just kept postponing it... I kept thinking I still want to further my career or travel more... When I was a little girl I always thought I would have 3 babies by the time I turned 25. Then, somehow I just kept telling myself it wasn't the right time. But the reality is that although some of my friends really have planned and done everything to have a baby, you just have to let it happen, and it will... when the time is right.

When I got pregnant I did so many tests and after asking my husband if he thought he was ready to be a daddy I sent him to the pharmacy and did about 10 more :-) I still remember the look in his eyes when I asked him if he would like to be a daddy. He immediately said to me:
"Is this how you are telling me we are going to have a baby?" I just starred at him with the panic and the doubt of not knowing if he was ready. He hugged me and kissed me!!!!! It's so nice to have the support from the father of your baby. Some of my friends have been faced with the difficult challenge of being a single mommy, but they are still super hot amazing moms!!! After seeing that first look in my husbands eyes and hearing him tell me how much he loved me all the panic disappeared.

The first look is very overwhelming!!!! The first look at the home test is one big panic, the first look at the sonogram is slightly scary and the first look into a babies eyes is just priceless. To know that you made that little person. That you brought it to this world. That forever you will have a legacy, someone that depends on you and you will do everything in your power to make sure they are happy. Even though the first look can be intimidating, somehow nature takes it's course and all the answers to the million questions you had don't even matter because you just explore day by day and every single day is one big adventure.